Like it or not, you are 100% responsible for your life.
Everything that’s going on in your life right now is your own dang fault. The question is if you’re taking responsibility for it.
You chose all of it, no matter what has happened… hear me–it’s your fault.
- If you haven’t achieved your dreams, it’s your fault
- If you are low on money, it’s your fault
- If you got divorced, it’s your fault
- If the relationship with your kids, co-workers, neighbors or friends is tension filled or less than loving, it’s only your fault
- If you are overweight, not where you wanted to be in your career, not joyful, not mentally and spiritually peaceful, don’t have enough time, feel overwhelmed, overscheduled and frazzled…
Say it after me…
IT’S YOUR FAULT.
You did it.
All of it.
Luckily, if you’re not thrilled with your life so far, there’s a remedy for it. It’s called taking radical responsibility.
Some call it “taking ownership” or “the 100% rule.” Tony Robbins might call it something like “personal power.”
But essentially taking responsibility means YOU get to choose your own fate (good or bad).
Taking responsibility for yourself means you don’t blame the traffic for being late, your significant other for your bad relationship or the weather for not being able to exercise.
You’re the captain of your own ship. You’re in charge of your destiny.
If you’re a business leader, it means you don’t blame your team, the economy, or Donald Trump for your organization’s poor performance. It’s all on your back.
Example of Taking Responsibility
I recently released a Darren Daily where I retold a story from “The Compound Effect” about a time I had to take 100% responsibility for a mistake I made.
… a VERY big mistake.
P.S. To hear the full explanation of this story (and more!), go here: TheCompoundEffect.com
The Psychology of Not Taking Responsibility
You know what’s depressing?
When bad things happen to you.
Wait! That wasn’t the depressing thing.
Sure certain things happen to us, things happen to all of us, but what happens to us doesn’t define us. What we DO about it does.
And there’s a trap here…
The trap is thinking you are not in control of your life. The “circumstances” are.
This “not taking responsibility psychology” can throw us into a huge funk.
The truth is YOU have the choice to react one way or another to anything life throws at you. That’s real power! That’s a healthy mindset that will help you win in life.
On the other hand, if you let the “circumstances” win and dictate your life, imagine the depression. Please don’t make the mistake of thinking life is happening “to you” all the time and it’s all completely out of your control.
Taking responsibility is about choosing to take back that control. It’s about realizing that life is happening for you, not to you.
The Hidden Power of “Choosing”
We all come into this world the same: naked, scared and ignorant. After that grand entrance, the life we end up with is simply an accumulation of all the choices we make.
Our choices can be our best friend or our worst enemy. They can deliver us to our goals or send us orbiting into a galaxy far, far away.
Think about it…
Everything in your life exists because you first made a choice about it one
- to eat those donuts
- to take that job or fight for something better
- to say I love you or not
Every choice has an impact on the “compound effect” of your life.
You’ll gain success by becoming aware of and making choices that support the expansion of your life.
Sounds complicated, but you’ll be amazed by its simplicity.
No longer will 99 percent of your choices be unconscious. No more will most of your daily routines and traditions come as a reaction to your programming.
￼￼￼￼￼Maybe you believe you’re simply unlucky. But really, that’s just another excuse. The difference between becoming fabulously rich, happy and healthy, or broke, depressed and unhealthy, is the choices you make throughout life.
￼￼￼Choices are at the root of every one of your results.
Each choice starts a behavior that over time becomes a habit. Choose poorly, and you just might find yourself back at the drawing board, forced to make new, often harder choices. Don’t choose at all, and you’ve made the choice to be the passive receiver of whatever comes your way.
In essence, you make your choices, and then your choices make you.
How I Learned the 100% Rule
One of the questions I frequently hear is how to take 100% responsibility if other parties are involved.
Say, for example, you lead a team. Can you really be 100% responsible for someone else’s actions? How is that even fair?
Or what about if you’re in a relationship? Let me tell you what I’ve learned about this in the following video.
“Ok, Darren, I get the concept of the 100% rule but how does that actually work in real life?”
I want to go back to the example of a team leader, and show you how you could be completely responsible for someone else’s actions.
Here’s how I do it on the Darren Hardy A-team:
Let’s start with the foundation, from which I build a team of whom I can expect exceptional performance.
- High expectations – A culture of excellence starts with your attitude as the leader, and what type of performance you expect. Poor performance is like an infectious disease. Allow it on your team, and all the members will get it. Set your standards very high.
- I only hire “A Players” – By making my hiring process vigorous, (for example, we conduct multiple interviews, and every team member must submit a video of themselves, which immediately scrubs out 90% of the workforce), I ensure a very high caliber team member.
- I ensure my A player is loved and heard – Your first job as CEO is to be the “Chief Emotions Officer.” Listen to your team’s dreams and desires, what they love about the job and where they are struggling and actually care, and they’ll want to perform for you.
Now that we have a team member who is an A player, and emotionally in the right state, I can expect very high performance from them.
So here’s my process for assigning an actual project. I STILL don’t leave this to chance. 100% rule, right?
- Clear instructions, the right tools, with a deadline – One of the worst things you can do when you delegate is to assign a project without the specifics of what you want your team to do. Make sure they know exactly what is expected of them, when exactly you expect it to be done, and that they have all the tools and capacity to do it.
- Let them fly – As I’ve said before, a person’s IQ seems to double if you give them a task, tell them you trust them to do it, and then leave them alone to complete it. No hand holding or micromanaging unless their performance doesn’t meet my expectations.
After ensuring I have the right team members in place, that they are properly motivated and loved, and have everything they need to complete a project to my standard of excellence, surely now it’s their fault if they deliver poor results, right?
Still my fault if that happens.
If performance is still not up to my standards, I go back, ensure they understood the project correctly and had the tools, and I get my hands dirty if I have to. I go alongside them and micromanage (only a little) to make sure the job gets done correctly.
If my team member STILL can’t perform up to my standards, I must let that team member go. Remember it all starts with high expectations, and if I allow mediocrity or poor performance on my team, it will spread like cancer to the others.
Like I said, it’s 100% my responsibility, and if you’re a leader, you should follow the same rule on your team.
Remember this formula for taking 100% of the responsibility for your life:
ALL you have in life has been created by:
1. What you DID.
2. Oh, and this one people forget… sometimes you have limited results in life, not by what you did but by what you DIDN’T DO… but you could have, you knew you should have, but still didn’t. And that is why you have the limited results… you DIDN’T do what you knew you could have, thus IT’S YOUR FAULT…
3. Or lastly, and this is the one that really trips people up… ‘But Darren, what if you get hit by a bus or are in a tsunami or fall off a horse and break your neck, are you responsible for the bus hitting you or the tsunami?’
No, of course not, but you are responsible for how you RESPOND to what happens to you.
Thus, no matter whatever happens, no matter what your wife, boss, client or competitor does, no matter whoever is President, what happens in Washington, in the economy, in other parts of the world, whatever difficulty you encounter, the OUTCOME-of-your-life is STILL YOUR FAULT.
Your dreams are your responsibility. The ONLY variable factor to whether you conquer them is… what? Say it with me all together now…. Yeah–YOU.
No one else.
What You Can Do to Take Responsibility Today
One of the best ways you can start taking responsibility for your life right now is to make a commitment to get better every day.
I’ve made this insanely easy for you by offering FREE daily mentorship by yours truly. Join me and 350,000+ other high achievers who kickstart their day with Darren Daily. Click here to sign up here for free.